Although I still go to work everyday and am slowly putting together another publication under the Boss's order, I feel quite liberated to a point that my body no longer knows how to cope with the lack of stress. Okay I wouldn't go so far as to say "zero stress" right now because I still need to get myself a job and start my wedding planning, but somehow it just feels weird not having the weight of the pressing thesis deadline on my back anymore. It will sink in with time. Right now, I just want/need a little break.
I've always been quite a bit of a worry wart all my life, that's just who I am, and I spent the past few months (since June) worrying about my (slow) thesis-writing, my final defense seminar etc. and I think at the end of the day all the worry was for naught because as it turned out, I was not being as productive as I envisioned myself to be! I was so caught up with everything and everything else that in many moments, I just lost sight of the end and got very discouraged indeed. Thankfully I have a really great supervisor, Dr. O who pushed me forward everyday and is simply just too awesome for words! Looking forward to a scrumptious appreciation dinner that Mr. C and I will be having with him and his wife next week at Byblos, Portside.
I've always been quite a bit of a worry wart all my life, that's just who I am, and I spent the past few months (since June) worrying about my (slow) thesis-writing, my final defense seminar etc. and I think at the end of the day all the worry was for naught because as it turned out, I was not being as productive as I envisioned myself to be! I was so caught up with everything and everything else that in many moments, I just lost sight of the end and got very discouraged indeed. Thankfully I have a really great supervisor, Dr. O who pushed me forward everyday and is simply just too awesome for words! Looking forward to a scrumptious appreciation dinner that Mr. C and I will be having with him and his wife next week at Byblos, Portside.
Am leaving for home this time next week for 2 weeks, looking forward to chilling out with my folks and meeting up with a couple of my dear friends. On a side note, I really miss the Macdonalds' Big Breakfast back home and really wish they had it here in Australia.
Anyhow, this is pretty much me right now:
Sans the work stress, I've been having more headaches on a daily basis. I've had a serious chronic adrenaline rush for the past few months, yes with physical symptoms even, so hopefully I'd just need a few more days to wind down.
On hindsight, I think I've grown quite a bit during my Ph.D., not only in terms of scientific knowledge (I still daren't claim expertise) though, but more so in the personal development aspect I think. I can't say that I'm no longer emotionally-charged, I still very much am, but I think I can handle my down time a little bit better than before. Plus, being here in Australia without mum and dad cleaning up after me and watching my back (Mr. C has sort of taken over that role a bit, haha), I think I've become a teeny bit more independent now and am more appreciative of all that I have. The past 6 years abroad has really been one helluva roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs, but I have learnt so much and would never trade this awesome experience for anything else. We are now living in the age of economic globalization, I feel so lucky to have been exposed to a different country, a different culture, to have worked with a diverse mix of people from all over the world etc. I am truly blessed.
No longer am I a 100% sure if I want to go back to my homeland. It is quite a scary feeling to have actually because I now question where my sense of belonging lies. Although I love the convenience, cleanliness, safety and variety Singapore has to offer, I am not sure if I can fit in anymore.
Anyway, live one day at a time, I tell myself. Enough mulling about for the day.
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